ノスタルジーを追いかけて

夏が揺らぐ

エアコンの風で揺らめくカーテンを夏の喧騒が貫いた

カーテンの向こうでは愛犬が目を細めて窓の外を眺めている

青空には入道雲と、遠くからは蝉の声

天気予報で梅雨明けが発表されてから、世界は180度変わったかのように鮮やかに彩られた

設定温度27度の部屋は快適で、心地良くて、けれどもそこに揺らぎは無かった。

その揺らぎは「モノ」ではない

もっと不確かで、形のないもの

懐かしさや匂い、記憶の類。


それはまるで

祖父母の家の縁側で涼しい風に乗ってやってくる、青い稲穂の匂いのような

遠くから聞こえる祭囃子とヒグラシの蝉時雨のような

潮風に揺らされて風鈴が小さく響くような

遠く向こうの空に浮かぶ入道雲のような

例えばそれを季節の揺らぎと呼ぶとして

それは所有することはおろか、触れることも出来ず、けれどたしかにそこに在って

胸が詰まるほどその揺らぎに惹かれているのに

いつも手にしたと思った瞬間に揮発して、空気に溶けていってしまうような、不完全な揺らぎ

そうした揺らぎを巡る旅がしたい

所有なんて出来なくてもいい

せめて1番近くで

夏が揺れる瞬間を眺めていたい

そう、最近は

季節を使い捨てながら生きているような

そんな気がしてならないのです。








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