なにがため(徒歩日本縦断#114)

114日目

沖縄読谷村

雨の音が聞こえてくる

憂鬱

外には出れない

ゲストハウスで停滞

ヘルパーの女性2人はオーナーさんと那覇の方にウィンドウショッピングに出かけた

横石も誘われるが、なんだか少し、ゆっくりしていたかった。

置いてあった漫画を読みふける

3時間ほど読んだ

少し飽きたなぁ

北海道から沖縄まで、3800キロを超えて歩いてきて、その間思考に耽る時間は何千とあったのだが、今日もまた雨音の中、ボヤッとしながら少し考えごとをしていた。

沖縄に来てから「どこから来たのー?」と聞かれて「北海道からです」というと「え!すごい!なんのために歩いているの?」と聞かれることが格段に増えた

そうか、確かに北海道から歩いてくるんだから「なんのために」って気になるよな。なにか理由が無いとこんなぶっ飛んだ?事出来ないと思われるよね。当たり前。

さぁここで横石はなんて言えばいいのだろう

「生き別れた母を探してます」

いやぁ、母親しっかり家いてます。映画の見過ぎですかね

「友との約束を果たすためです」

確かにタクマと這ってでも波照間へ、と約束をしたけど、それだけが理由では無いし、横石は友との約束だけでここまで歩けるほど出来た人間ではない。

「まだ見ぬ風景を見にいくためです」

これは旅人としてもっともらしい。だけど別にまだ見ぬ風景を見にいくんだったらまた自転車でも次はバイクでもよかったんじゃね?

「まだ見ぬ自分を探すためです」

そもそも横石はそこまで自分探しをしたいと思ったことはない。最初から自分は自分だと思っているタイプだから

あーもうわかんない

言語化できるような理由で思いつくのは、どれも格好いい言葉ばかり。

だけどさ、格好良く言い切れるような飾った理由だけで、こんなに泥臭く歩き続けることは出来ないよ。そんなことわかってんだ。

違うんだ。

人は

どうして旅をするのか

横石は

なぜ歩くのか

何を見たくて

何を知りたくて

この道の先へ進むのか

この海の果てを目指すのか

もっと打たれるような理由が欲しい

飾りなんかじゃない、震えるような感触のある答えを知りたい

その一方で

その答えを知りたくない自分もいる

答えを知ったらもう二度と、旅をすることができない気がするから

少し昔の話

人間、そして日本人の祖先は20万年前にアフリカで生まれた猿人で、その猿人は進化を重ねて現代型の新人になったらしい。

さて、その新人の集団の中からは、アフリカ大陸を抜け出して世界各地に拡がって行く奴らが出てきた。

そいつらは中東でヨーロッパに向かう集団とアジアに向かう集団に別れて、それが「白色人種」と「黄色人種」の始まりらしい。

そんな俺らの祖先の「黄色人種」いわゆる「モンゴロイド」はアジアの土地を目指した。

アジアの環境に応じた体と顔を徐々に作って…

こいつらは途中では絶対に足を止めなかった。

親が死んでも子が意思を受け継いで進んだ。

そして一万キロ以上の旅路の果てに、日本に辿り着いたモンゴロイドがいた。いわゆる縄文人で、普通ならここでめでたしめでたし。

でもそいつらの中には旅をやめないモンゴロイドがいた。そいつらはユーラシアを上がってシベリアに辿り着き、さらに氷河期で陸地になっていたベーリング海峡を渡り、アメリカに辿り着き、そこでもまだ満足せずに、アメリカ大陸を一気に南下した。マヤやアステカ文明を築きながら…

そしてそいつらは陸地の果てに辿り着いた。

何代もの代替わりを繰り返した2万5千キロもの道のりの果てに終着した旅だった。

横石たちの祖先は、なぜそんなに旅をしたのか

親が死ねば子へ、子が死ねばまたその子へと、前に進む意志を受け継いで旅を続けたのか

横石は縄張り争いでも、環境に馴染めなかったんでもないと思う。

もっと単純に、陸地の果てがどうなってるか確かめたかっただけなんだと思った。

そう。本能なんだと思う。動物として、

いや、動物としてではない。

木の上の生活から、より遠くへ移動することが出来る「二本足で地上を歩く」という道を選んだ人類の祖先から続く本能だと。

もしもそのどうしようもなく単純な本能が現代人にも、そして横石の心の中にも残っているのだとしたら、きっと旅をする理由なんていらない。「本能」は理屈を超えて人の心をも大きく動かす。心は体を動かして、人は前へ進む

そんな「本能」の本当の意味を横石は日本の最果てに辿り着いたときに知ることができるのだろうか

震えるほどの確信を得ることができるのであろうか

最果てから最果てへ、もう少し、もう少し

もっと深く、もっと深く、

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